我的神知道我的心在想什么 （My God knows what I'm thinking)

今天，是学校假期的其中一天。一大清早，我就和全家人一起去爬，我完完全全没有想到上帝在这一天里， 让我领受到他的大能。其实，也不是说这样的事情没发生过。我是一个，可说是蛮小气，脾气又暴躁的人 （应该是我爸遗传下来的吧！）。今天是星期五，每个星期五晚上我都有国语补习 而那么刚好我们的少年团契有个BBQ！我当然很想不去补习，但同时又想顾学业，所以就通知有关人员说我不会参与这次的BBQ咯~ 可是,想不到妈妈竟然会让我在补习前先去参与 ( 我的补习是晚上7.30开始,而此烧烤会是在傍晚6时正开始.), 这是前几天妈妈说的话, 哪知道, 今天要出门时, 已经上车了, 而且妈妈已经把车子驾到我们家停车场的第二楼,那时妈妈又再唠叨了, 本小姐最讨厌听人唠叨, 所以就跟她说: " 妈,还是算了吧. 我不想去了, 因为时间太匆忙 而且也很浪费车油." 这句话虽然令妈妈很开心, 却让我心里感到很难受. 这是我的假期吗,干麻不让我多享受一下呢?真讨厌!!!虽然很不爽, 但我心好像有个声音在说, 听话吧, 当然这时我认为是很针扎的时候, 因为除了那个声音以外, 我似乎感受到另一个声音在说, 哎呀, 真是的, 都是妈妈啦, 破坏我的心情, 讨厌死了啦. (让你猜, 你应该知道哪个是上帝的声音, 哪个是魔鬼的声音吧?) 回到家里, 很不爽地把晚餐吞下, 就出门准备去补习. (我老老实实地告诉你, 我一路上可说是挂着一副苦脸, 现在想起来, 觉得自己真的很幼稚, 16岁都快到了, 还发小孩子脾气! ) 谁知道, 到了补习中心, 只见中五的学生在等各自的车子, 而奇怪的是, 老师在锁门?!?! 我立刻下车跑向前问老师， 今天是不是没有课， 她说的确是没有课！ 哎呀， 我真的很笨！竟然没好好听课! 幸好爸爸的车还在那儿，我又上了车便得到了妈妈的允许到教会参与这个烧烤会. 神的道路,高过人的路; 他的意念,真是高过人的意念. 他也深知我一切所行的, 所想的... 他都晓得. 我们也许骗得过人,甚至自己, 但我们一定...一定隐瞒不了这位奇妙,圣洁 又充满慈爱的创造者, 也就是我们的主耶稣基督. 若你有机会阅读我这一篇文章,而且被神的作为感动了,希望你能在此布洛格下留言,我会为你祷告. 这个机会没有截止日期, 你无论在什么时候相信这位上帝, 他都会张开双手欢迎你...愿主的平安, 他的爱来浇灌你, 愿他的喜乐充满你的心. 主耶酥爱你~

27th May 2010

Still emo-ing. Sorry gina I think we'll become emos, my bad. Well anyway no news from PPP, so sad, make bra sad, make bra emo, make bra frustrated and bad mood / moody for so many months etc. Just one message, one call, one smile also cannot??? PPP I really heart you, I'm not lying. Please don't hurt me by leaving me...I need you in my life, you're like a part of me...please just don't say goodbye :'(
okay okay...enough emo-ing. PPP is not worth crying for, at least that's what Steph says...poor bra...What's his problem? or is it my problem? How am I supposed to understand what PPP means by just leaving me without a word ? One minute he's being such a sweetheart, darling this and that, and another minute he's like...Urgh...can't take it anymore. I wanna ask him so badly but I'm afraid he won't say anything or he might even be like " huh? " >.< makes me so angry!!! This thing happens like when a new year starts...how can someone like someone for one year then forget about it the next year and like the same person back the following year and well, you know how it goes...I don't understand people like that. Oh well, inhale and exhale, Deborah ~ I think I'm gonna fail my physics and chem BIG TIME!!! Bio holds a smaller chance of failing...hehe~ Anyway, I'm so looking forward to the trip to Gurney with the whole gina family...Aww...it'll be full of memories =) Yay! Oh and today Bahtera Merdeka sounded 100 times better than before...I'm so grateful to teacher~ So boring...hardly anyone sms me nowadays...again it's PPP's fault for ignoring me, and furthermore my other sms buddy is having exams...so sad, pity pity...the only messages I can be sure or hope to receive are from 2900. Pretty lame huh? No choice, blame PPP again...Oh ya...I kept fretting about PPP that I almost forgot to say I GOT DISTINCTION in Grade 8 piano exam!!! ^^ Which means that technically, I'm gonna continue taking diploma soon...Need to find out about a new piano teacher as quickly as possible. Wish me all the best~ Muakcz... XD

26th May 2010

Ah...Finally, I'm back on blogspot!!! After months of laziness...I have to admit...I've being procrastinating, putting off writing blog...that is so bad~ Don't know what came over me which made me write a new post while listening to Evanescence's 'My Immortal'. Lately, I'm so emo...All because of PPP. PPP just left me hanging by ignoring me (gina hates being ignored >.<), not telling me why is he leaving me (another thing I hate) and most of all acts as nothing happened between us...How could PPP do this??? I cannot believe it...As much as I hate to admit it, I miss PPP, I heart PPP, I need PPP :'(... Okay okay, I"m gonna stop emo-ing. I am gonna erase, delete, clear, eject PPP from my memory, and that is not gonna to be easy, well at least I will try, seriously. I can't possibly go on emo-ing forever can I? It's no point emo-ing over such a person, not worth me doing so. I keep telling myself that, but I can't do it, I just can't, I don't know why...I thank all my friends for being understanding and for their support but somehow it's just not enough to stop me from being emo. Oh well, maybe I should stop writing about emo things in this new post. EXAMS are OVER. Actually I was supposed to write that first not the emo thingy. Unfortunately, the emo thingy popped into my mind first thing so...you get it. Well, my physics sucks, bio's okay, history's better and modern maths...let's just say I'm very reckless when doing maths. Just 1 more mark and I score 80...how careless is that?! Can you believe it??? Anyway, that's not the main point. The main point is holidays are coming!!! and so is the choral evening this Sunday...Let me be straight with you about our condition right now...we suck. And most of all, I'm very sad because our choir seems to be falling apart...some people keep doing other things during our practice while others get mad at them for doing so. Another reason is, the juniors...aren't very keen on improving themselves so it's really hard for us, seniors to teach them or polish the whole group. We teach them a new song, and when they come back the next choir practice, they've either forgotten what they've learnt or don't dare to sing it out. So 'gia su', they seem only desperate in winning but without giving an effort and the songs teacher prepares for us aren't really that bad or not pleasant to the ear. What I wanna say is, if you really enjoy singing or music, then you will enjoy every piece of music which falls into your hands, this is a fact, I'm sure most people who enjoy music the correct way would say so too. It's very frustrating I tell you, with all these problems going in on in the choir we cannot fulfill 'one heart, one soul, one song' that's for sure. What should we do??? I do not want to ruin everyone's friendship and yet I want to tell them overreacting is not the best way to solve anything. Not giving full dedication to only choir work during choir time is also what I would like to say which is something not so good, but can't seem to find the right words. I also need a new way to teach the juniors...Help?! Gonna watch tv now...forget being stressed or frustrated...or at least I'm trying to...but I thank God for providing someone like Yue Wan who stands in the same point of view as me.At least we try to make the best out of everything...unlike some other people. No offense but think about it, really do...

7th March 2010

Whoa...its been more than a month since I upgraded my blog...tee hee~ Oh well, at least I'm typing those keys on the keyboard once again! XD Well...lately I'm all gaga over the PERCY JACKSON BOOKS!!! OMG...I just love it baby...I'm lovin' it~^^ guess I should kinda stop going crazy over Percy Jackson...cause its time to hit the books...exam's just round the corner...I have a week of holiday to catch up full speed with my studies...Oh no...that's like so much to do, so little time...haiz...All my maths subjects should be fine...I'm only worried about my 3 sciences, Chinese, and history...all those need lots of memorizing and understanding...seriously, no joke! Form 4 studies aren't as easy as it seems...but for me...I plan to take an m & m degree each (maths and music)...I extremely desire to become an awesome classical singer just like my teacher...of course I will have to give the Lord back what He has given me...I'll also learn to serve Him wholeheartedly no matter what...speaking of which...today was the 1st time I song-led the Sunday School...you know...its harder getting kids attention than getting youth's attention...I didn't realize that when I was younger...Well...now all I can say is, I'm growing every second of the year...by this September 29th I'll be truly 16 years old...and soon 2010 will be ending...and my last year in high school a.k.a SPM year will be coming!!! Guess nothing can stop time from moving on...I've decided to forget certain things that cause me to loose concentration on my future...I've come to realize if I keep worrying about them, I'll never be able to get on with my life...never...

27th Jan. 2010

Wow...long time since I wrote blog...1 month to be exact!!! XD...You know what? The thing I enjoy most during P.E. lessons are the high jump ! It's absolutely hilarious to watch people jump over that pole and onto those mattresses...well...I didn't manage to jump over the stupid pole during P.E. lessons on Monday (who knew form 4 had to jump so much higher than form 3...T_T oh well...), but that's not the main point...this time I had a good laugh along with some of my classmates...they described me jumping over the pole like Jackie Chan!!! My goodness...it's kind of embarrassing in a way but also something to laugh at after a long boring day at school...^^Imagine me...girl version of Jackie Chan~ haha...Well...Fu Juan jie is leaving for Taiwan tomorrow (28th Jan )...gonna miss her and her nagging XD...can't see her off though because I have sports practise early in the morning plus I have Civic lessons that means early start for me...Bummer...I hate Thursdays...So far nothing extremely interesting is happening because school's reopened...oh yeah...except that Chinese New Year is round the corner and this time the first day of this celebration happens to fall on February 14th which is VALENTINE'S DAY...OMG...Lots of cookie-making for grandma to do...and lots of shopping for mum and my sis and myself to do!!! That's the best part of Chinese New Year plus we're gonna get Ang-paos...oh my bad, no offense but too bad for married people...they won't receive Ang-paos anymore, instead they are the one's who have to distribute those red little packets which doesn't seem so little on the inside...haha...Chinese New Year...a time for me to catch up with my dearest cousins from distant places (Singapore, Kuantan etc. ) I'm sure most of them are growned up into young ladies and young men by now...wonder what they look like now?!...Oh well, in about 2 weeks time I'll be able to answer that question...Duh...lame of me to ask such a dumb question...Oops...better concentrate on my Physics now...so gotta stop writing here...haha...next blog in maybe next few weeks...haha...depends~ till then...